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Punchline of the Week
Q: What did the peecee user say when he got to hell?

A: Hey, this is great! Everyone gets a Windows seat!!

—This week's best answer came from an anonymous source.


Next Week's Punchline of the Week
See your name in glowing, correct-gamma phosphor lights by sending in the best punchline to this question:

Q: If men are from Mars, where do peecee users come from?

Send punchlines to [email protected]. You just might see your answer here next week.

 

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OPINION DECEMBER 4 , 2000
Talkin' Smack: My Favorite Year

Musings upon the one-year anniversary of Creative Mac

by David Nagel
Executive Producer
[email protected]

Hey, you know what? This week marks the very first anniversary of Creative Mac. Can you believe it? We haven't been around very long at all, but we sure have gotten a lot done in this time—more than 1,500 stories in 12 months, to be specific. That's just pretty fancy.

So, to celebrate this momentous occasion, I did what every other cool Web guy in the world did this weekend: I partied like a maniac. That is to say, I played Dungeons & Dragons. Now, this is something I haven't done in a while, and it brought back some memories. It reminded me of those long-gone highschool years, back when I was dating all the cheerleaders, who were only too happy to don the raiments of a dark elf sorceress and act out scenes from "Vault of the Drow" with me. Yep, if there's one thing teenage girls go crazy for, it's a teenage boy who plays AD&D and asks them to put on some pointy prosthetic ears. Or so I remember.

I also seem to remember a plan for me and my friends to sit in a circle and kill ourselves so that we could become our characters in the AD&D dimension. Could you imagine? Had I gone through with it, I'd probably be a 30th level magic user/fighter by now. But then Tipper Gore had to come along and ruin it for everybody. Her and that hall-monitor husband of hers. I'm glad Floridians are too stupid to vote. Of course, I don't like Bush either, what with his policy of executing everybody. That guy has single-handedly kept me from pursuing my lifelong goal of killing as many Texans as possible in order to build up enough experience points to raise my CHA to 18. Then I'd really get all the chicks! But that's beside the point.

The point is that anniversaries are for reflection. So let's take some time to reflect upon all the good that's happened in the last year.

The first good thing I remember is that I left my job in print publishing and landed this sweet job on Creative Mac. I always wanted to work for MacWEEK, but they never called, so screw them. I'm running my own show here and raking in the dot-com bucks to boot. Plus, I'm out of print. I have nothing against print per se. It's just that all print companies are run by executives who don't know anything or care at all about publishing. I still wonder why investment bankers get mixed up in the big publishing companies when they could be investing in widget manufacturing and not have to worry about those pesky editors, writers and artists.

This year also marked the time when I got my very first G4, way back in February. Turned out to be a good purchase too, what with Mac clock speeds not gaining any ground whatsoever in the meantime. But I've loved every minute of it. Just me and my Mac fighting the good fight. A couple of supergenius underdogs taking on the world.

Yep. My life is rockin'. Rockin' like Dokken. You know why? I am a Mac user, and that makes me better than 95 percent of the other people in the world. All those lame peecee users out there. And that's what it's really all about, isn't it? Kicking the big, fat lard butts of peecee users? You know it is. And that's what we've been doing for the last 12 months. You know, metaphorically. We'll wait for the actual physical violence until our numbers grow a little larger and we have more allies in the judicial branch. And that is the time the peecee user dreads: the Day of Mackening! I give it another 12 months.

So keep on reading and spreading the good word. The best is yet to come™.


Dave Nagel is the producer of Creative Mac and Digital Media Designer; host of the Creative Mac, Adobe InDesign, Adobe LiveMotion and Synthetik Studio Artist WWUGs; and executive producer of Creative Mac, Digital Media Designer, Digital Pro Sound, Digital Webcast, Plug-in Central, Presentation Master, ProAudio.net and Video Systems sites. All are part of the Digital Media Net family of online industry hubs.

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