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9 , 2000
Everythings Getting Normal Again
Apple stock in the dumps and Microsoft back to its old shenanigans, Mac users
can rest easy once again
week I offer a mixed bag of fruits for you to chew on. First up, while I thought
I would avoid the topic of Apple's stock plunge of two weeks yore, I don't think
I can any longer. The stock has continued (as of this writing) to sag in the low
twenties, and more and more adult education extension graduates with phony degreesnamely
MBAscontinue to flap their gums about the impending doom of Apple. They
1. Apple isn't positioned
to synergize with future paradigms.
2. Steve Jobs can't
run a company.
3. Apple operates in
an unsustainable niche.
I answer these
charges as follows:
1. Synergy and paradigm
are words stupid people use to cover up the fact that they don't know what they're
talking about, so shut up.
2. That's heresy.
3. That "unsustainable
niche" is my readership, you creeps. Nobody talks bad about my readers. You
want a piece of this? Bring it on.
they contrast Apple with computer makers who are supposedly "doing it right."
Doing what right? Copying Apple's technology? Using somebody else's operating
system? So who's doing it right out there? Compaq? I spit on Compaq's grave. Dell?
Dell's all right sometimes, but now they're falling short on profit predictions
as well. Hewlett Packard? Oh my sweet Bejeezus, if only you could see how those
steaming piles of Kayak crap stunk up our offices earlier this year!
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