Creative Mac

Click to enlarge.
Some of you might be wondering what this picture has to do with this column. Usually, my little attempts at graphical accompaniment tie in somehow with the topic at hand. This week, I had planned on doing a comp of me in the audience at the MTV Video Music Awards holding up a sign that read "I [heart] NSync!" I thought that would be pretty amusing. However, two things happened that prevented this.

First, the batteries ran out in my digital camera. Since, as usual, I waited until the last minute to do the artwork for this, it was too late for me to go to the store and get new ones. Also, my rechargeable batteries corroded inside their recharger.

Second, unbeknownst to me until too late, my stupid ATI capture card failed to capture the critical frames during NSync's performance at the ceremony. So no background.

I simply had no material to work with.

The photo above was taken Friday at the office for an entirely unrelated purpose. The color was awful, so I ran it through Photoshop and played with a few effects. Then I brought it into Synthetik Studio Artist for further funkification. I kind of liked the result. Hence the decision to use it here. Anyway, it's better than using one of those stupid little mug shots most people put in their columns.

If you like it, by all means, click on it to see an enlargement of two different versions.

Talkin' Smack: The Mac Trips Out at IBC in Amsterdam

A celebratory column, along with the usual rants about Microsoft and popular music

by David Nagel
Executive Producer
[email protected]

If you're anything like me, you didn't miss your one opportunity to watch this year's MTV Video Music Awards last Thursday. If you did miss it, you really lost out, and now you'll never get the chance to see it again, owing to MTV's policy of never repeating any of its content.

This year's ceremony marked the first time MTV decided to shun the glamor and money of the major pop stars and focus on more deserving, unknown performers. This was the year underground artists like Britney Spears, NSync and Backstreet Boys finally received the mainstream recognition that's been eluding them lo these many years.

It's always rewarding watching the underdogs overcome adversity and rise up to accept awards from people who clearly have very good taste in music.

At epiphanomaniacal moments like these, when my eyes begin to well up and my heart rises, I feel like the whole world is getting into my groove, and everything seems to fall into place.

Nowhere can this be felt more keenly than in the magical, fantastical realm of Windowsdom. I am, as you all know, a big fan and long-time user of the Wintel/AMDows peecee platform. So, in the spirit of the creative genius epitomized in the MTV awards, I have composed a haiku in celebration of Microsoft Windows.

i have
a spreadsheet
four-bit color
blue type, gray background
its calculations
are accurate
to seven

I hope publishing my own poem doesn't seem too self-indulgent to you, but Windows just inspires me to create beauty. (And note that I kept the poem to fewer than 256 characters, so I can archive it in a single cell of my spreadsheet!)

"Wait a minute, Dave. You're not a peecee user. And, for that matter, you hate those bands you mentioned above. What's going on here?"

I know, reader. I was just teasing.

"Ooooh. You're funny, Dave."

Thank you.

"Handsome too."

Now, reader, you know that kind of talk embarrasses me.

"You're smart, too. Write something smart for me."

Like what?

"Well, your headline up there says something about the IBC show. What about that?"


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