then there was the pro G4 line.
If you're anything like
me, when you heard about the new multiprocessing G4s, you stood up on your seat,
ripped off your clothes and started convulsing like a Pentecostal, speaking in
tongues while chugging arsenic, proclaiming the glory of the great Bejeezus above.
Holy Vishnu, Mary and Joseph! What a score! I was wondering what I was going to
get for my birthday, and here it is! All of human history has led up to this momentall
the disease, death, despair, all of itfrom the cosmic singularity to the
great rift to the formation of stars and planets to the little coagulations of
matter we call humanity. And suddenly my place in all of it was clear: I am to
purchase one of these machines and play Diablo II over a gigabit LAN forever (just
as soon as I'm able to liquidate some of the billions of dollars in stock that
I have tied up in Creative Mac's parent company, Digital
And I don't want to hear
any griping about OS 9 "not supporting" multiple processors. The fact
is that Apple's given us an early giftmachines with multiple processors
for the same price as the single-processor models. I, for one, will be dedicating
one hard disk to running the OS X beta when it comes out. In the mean time, I'll
get the advantages of multiple processing in the creative applications I use most.
My only real negative feeling
about the new G4s regards the still paltry PCI offering, especially given Apple's
push to the vanguard of the desktop video revolution. Three PCI slots does not
a revolution make, especially if Apple wants its revolutionary army to be equipped
like professionals. It seems like such a simple change to the G4 that I just can't
fathom Apple's reluctancea few more slots and a couple extra fans, and we're
good to take over the world.
(And speaking of fans, maybe
this week's Siggraph show in sweltering New Orleans would would be a good place
to make just such an announcement. But I doubt that will happen. However, given
the fact that Apple learned how to cool a G4 without a fan, maybe we will see
a G4 PowerBook in the near future.)
The G4 Cube was nice too.
I guarantee that you're going to see free product placement everywhere just because
the thing looks so amazing. It's pretty decent technology too. This could have
been another 20th Anniversary Mac fiasco with an underpowered processor, but,
instead, it has some speedy guts, if you can get the thing to run applications
with only 64 megs of RAM.
I'd like to close on a positive note. It may shock you to learn that I did not
actually attend the Macworld show. Instead, star reporter and Man About Town
Tim Wilson, producer of Plugin
Central, went in my stead, sparing me the hazards of flight in an age of bong-ripping
airline mechanics, less than competent pilots and unconstitutional treatment by
authorities in the airport and in the plane. (Vote Libertarian!) I'd like to say
a few words about Tim right now.
The word hero is often used
to describe those noble and honorable warriors who risk their lives in combat
to gain glory for themselves and for their people and to bring a hostile enemy
to his knees. I, on the other hand, think of Tim Wilson, a man who went to New
York to cover a trade show. I just get misty-eyed when I think of all the loot
he brought home for me. Oh, and he also wrote like 15,000 words of news and analysis,
which is also nice. Here's to you, Tim Wilson, a great American hero!
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