Enlargitude
A Robot in a Robot Army
by
David Nagel
Senior Producer
In
the year 2000 (according to the old calendar), Bill Gates unleashed his robot
army on humanity—an army that had been built up in expectation of
a monopoly breakup by the government. When Gates himself was accidentally slain
by one of his own robots (which failed to recognize him through the lousy gamma
in its NT-based infrared detection system), his cronies stuck his head in some
amniotic fluid to be preserved forever in one of his own robot bodies. However,
"forever" proved to be not so long as anticipated. In his last moments
of cyborg life, Gates saw his own death as a blue screen with the following words
printed across it: "c:\fatal error."
In the Linuxian Jihad that followed, all remnants of Microsoft and Bill Gates were erased from history, except for this one photograph, which shows Gates proudly holding the head of an opponent who has yet to be identified by our scholars.
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Dave Nagel is the brand spankin' new Senior Producer of Creative Mac. An eight-year veteran of the print publishing world, Nagel covered a broad range of topics in the areas of technology and marketing. As a Mac psychofanatic since 1987, he's finally landed his dream job: earning a living writing about his favorite topic. If you have something to say, please send a polite e-mail to dnagel@digitalmedianet.com. (Let's not try to bring him down from his euphoria too soon.)