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Talkin' Smack: How I Learned To Love the Flower Power iMac

And other capitulations to my readers

by David Nagel
Executive Producer
[email protected]

So it seems my subtle indictment of the new Flower Power iMac didn't go over so well with many of you. Using all the skill endowed upon me by the State of California when it granted me my master's degree in English Literature, I composed in the Horatian style—with a few intertwinings of the Juvenalian—a literary satire that hinted, ever so slightly, at my disappointment in the design of the new iMacs. Perhaps I let the word "retarded" slip in a few times, but, on the whole, it was as subtle as a good Pinot Noir with just a touch of Thunderbird dripped in for contrast.

So the overwhelmingly negative responses I received came as a bit of a shock. I was unaware of just how many of Creative Mac's readers were so thoroughly versed in the Greek satirists as to be able to comprehend the subtleties of that particular piece. The response being what it was, however, I think I do owe you, beloved reader, some kind of apologia to explicate my motives. Allow me to categorize your well considered responses and address each one individually.

1. David Nagel, you are a complete moron who belongs in hell with Hitler and Bill Gates. What are you, an idiot? Yes, you are. You, sir, are an idiot. I hate you and your company, and I'm never coming back to your site. Idiot.

2. I feel sorry for you, Dave. Why can't you just learn to love? What baggage are you carrying on you that you just can't let go of? The Flower Power iMac is love. You should love.

3. The FBI is controlled by the big money boys. They're taking their orders from the Council on Foreign Relations. The shadow government is trying to disarm the populace so that the communists can come back into power in Russia and take over America to form a one-world government run by the Beast with Seven Crowns (also known as the G-7).

4. I like popcorn.

Now, let me please answer these charges.

1. In the case of the first complaint, I trust that what you're trying to say is that the iMac is still a viable computer and that, despite whatever I might think of the design, a person who purchases a Flower Power iMac probably is not cranially challenged and is by no means deserving of death. Good points. You're probably right in many cases.

2. So what you're saying here is that the Flower Power iMac is an "out of the box" design. It's a concept that, regardless of the execution, is at least in the spirit of innovation, and it's better than any peecee design. True, true. I guess it is more pleasant to look at than, say, a Compaq with those cheap plastic bezels attached a four-year-old box with Elmer's glue. I'll give you that one.

3. Oh, sorry, that's the e-mail I sent out to President Bush last week.

4. Frankly, I didn't understand this last one. You like popcorn? Keep it to yourself, buddy.

Well, all of your arguments, with the exception of the last one, were pretty good. So I guess I've changed my mind about the Flower Power iMac. I'd like to thank all of you who took the time to offer me your sincere and considered corrections to my previously erroneous opinions. Peace and love, flower children.

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Dave Nagel is the producer of Creative Mac and Digital Media Designer; host of the Creative Mac, Adobe InDesign, Adobe LiveMotion and Synthetik Studio Artist WWUGs; and executive producer of Creative Mac, Digital Media Designer, Digital Pro Sound, Digital Webcast, Plug-in Central, Presentation Master, ProAudio.net and Video Systems sites. All are part of the Digital Media Net family of online industry hubs.

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